#11 in Cardioscopy

#34 in Psychopediatrology

#602 in Gastropulmocologiatric Esophoreneatry

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Three Convenient Locations

Wherever you get sick, there's a St. Deathsdoor nearby. We're strategically located near the most common intersections for highway crashes, with blinding lights on our signs that will illuminate the way in case you end up mangled or mauled. With untrained wolves and bears out front designed to encourage injured pedestrians to stop in as well, you can be confident that wherever there's a St. Deathsdoor location, there are a lot of sick and injured people. We're even releasing toxins into the air to harm the local community-- because we want you to know that when you're sick, even if we cause it, we're here to treat you. Did you receive something suspicious in the mail? We probably sent it, and we're probably the only ones who know what it is and can stop it from killing you. Some of you. So come on by to our nearest location and say hello, give us your insurance card, and enjoy our comfortable facilities. And when you're ready to leave, stop by our carnival tents on the way out. Fun for the whole family, with untrained knife throwers and roller coasters that failed inspection. You'll find that there's always a reason to stay, here at St. Deathsdoor.